A local activist for whom I retain great admiration has just shared with me the latest plans of my local council to regenerate the once enviable resort town of Rhyl. In an attempt to try and keep my response serious, I have devised a multiple choice questionnaire which aims to explore just how in touch our local council is with the people it is paid so well to represent. To say that they have not made a good fist of things in Rhyl is akin to suggesting that Margaret Thatcher was a little less than favourable toward the trade union movement. That said, why not answer the questions and see how in touch you are with Denbighshire County Council. All of these questions are based only on factual text taken from Denbighshire County Council's own document, Rhyl: A masterplan to rejuvenate the seaside resort:-
1. Having reclaimed Rhyl Sun Centre from the previous Clwyd Leisure management company (resulting in numerous redundancies) citing that the facility was now too costly to operate, Denbighshire County Council have:
a. Continued to rule out any possibility of the facility ever again operating as a water based recreational facility.
b. Reiterated their intention to just demolish the facility in favour of a new £18 million aquatic centre,
c. Admitted following the opinion of a businessman well versed with running such a facility that the Sun Centre could indeed once more be run as a viable water based attraction at a fraction of their original estimated cost and should probably never have closed in the first place.
d. Avoid the embarrassment of being made to look stupid by publicly stating that they wish to keep all options open.
2. The Sky Tower which last operated in 2010 has been the subject of various propositions in the new "masterplan". It was publicly stated that the existing tower will never operate again unless at least £400,000 is spent. Taking this in to account, Denbighshire County Council have now suggested:-
a. It could be run as an "adrenaline ride"....
b. It could be used as an "interactive urban art feature"
c. They should just knock it down and admit it has been a bit of a white elephant
d. Avoid the embarrassment of being made to look stupid by admitting it is an eye sore and come up with spurious suggestions such as "adrenaline ride" and "interactive urban art feature"
3. The Children's Village recently rated with an entire star on Trip Advisor with the accompanying advice "expensive and not for children" has had a somewhat turbulent reception from the natives. In seeking to address this lack of understanding from their ignorant public, Denbighshire County Council have:-
a. Stated their intention to approach an unnamed national food chain to move in to the attractive venue
b. Stated their intention to approach a hitherto unidentified unbelievably gullible private sector company enticed by the prospect of a partnership with the legendary Denbighshire County Council
c. Get rid of the toilets behind the cafe which people only have to pay to use anyway in favour of a new kite surfing centre
d. Privately pray that a freak wave decimates the venue thus relieving them of the potential embarrassment of having to admit that it's been a bit of a white elephant since day one what with the sea no longer being visible from the road at the former SEASIDE RESORT.
4. The £160,000 Rhyl skate park opened as long ago as July 19th 2003 has proved a big hit with youngsters in the area giving them a prized recreational facility. Denbighshire County Council in their recently released "masterplan" have suggested:-
a. They intend to leave it alone because after all, it was designed by the youth of the town and is well used with no need for the Council to employ anyone to oversee it.
b. Eleven years is a heck of a long time and even though they are, by their own admission, more skint than a turkey on Christmas Eve, Denbighshire County Council intend to plough ahead with their proposed £18 million aquatic centre which will mean demolition of this popular site.
c. Drop plans for the aquatic centre admitting that "The council doesn't have the money to build a new aquatic centre" and barring "Welsh Government Support" it's all just been a bit of pipe dreaming which they had rather hoped nobody had noticed.
d. Privately hope that someone with infinitely more money than sense will miraculously appear and just give them the money to build the aquatic centre and to hell with the skate park because most of the kids using it probably wouldn't miss it anyway.
5. Despite the West of Rhyl having already benefited from a quite staggering £23 million worth of public investment (that's right, the tax paid by people like you), Denbighshire County Council has also:-
a. Stated it's intention to create a £1.5 million community green space (dogs permitting) to be referred to as a "neighbourhood park"! The latter will be multifunctional (not entirely clear what this means but it sounds good) and will include hard and soft landscaping (concrete and grass), street furniture (metal benches welded in to the pavement lest they get itchy feet), lighting (essential) and of course, CCTV (just in case).
b. Used compulsory purchase orders to sequester the land they intend using for this radical new "neighbourhood park".
c. Put this radical plan together in conjunction with Clwyd Alun Housing Association and the Welsh Assembly Government
d. Privately admitted that it just doesn't know what to do because vast sums of money have already been spent with no discernable difference having been made
6. Marine Lake which dates from 1895 stupidly thought it was going to escape the attentions of Denbighshire County Council. In their new "masterplan", Denbighshire County Council have revealed:-
a. Planning consent for a "cable ski" attraction still remains despite the original applicant having long since woken up and seen the light of day.
b. They hope the venue will create more "open air experiences"???????
c. That in a desperate attempt to meddle in some way or other, they are toying with the potential of Marine Lake becoming quite possibly the smallest waterskiing venue in Western Europe.
d. They don't actually have any plans but thought that they'd better put something in the "masterplan" just in case they lost any credibility (fat chance!)
7. The Scarborough Development Group who have been linked to redeveloping the erstwhile funfair site have revealed that the main reason for the downgrading of their original plan of £85 million to the current version of £30 million has been because of:
a. Challenging market conditions.
b. A sudden upsurge in the value of the pound.
c. The Chief Executive has been somewhat in the doldrums since then.
d. A failure to agree the details of the land transfer with Denbighshire County Council as well as flooding issues which prevented them from building houses there as planned
8. The new Dragon's Bridge which stands as a rare example of linking up a cycling pathway between councils which don't share the same name has justifiably attracted plaudits from several leading architectural judges. Work on completing the project was held up earlier this year after:-
a. The Welsh Assembly Government got wind at the last moment that Denbighshire County Council were involved.
b. Nobody had actually ascertained if any cyclists intended using it.
c. It was though they might have been able to spend a bit more money on the project
d. 200 meters of copper cable had been left unattended and had been stolen what with these times being hard and all that...
9. Despite initial fears that the story had broken on April 1st, Denbighshire County Council in it's latest "masterplan" points to interest from two separate parties to operate a:-
a. Underground tunnel to New York
b. Remote controlled pheasant
c. Big party where everyone has a spiffing time
d. Hovercraft service connecting Rhyl to Liverpool and the Wirral
10. In a bid to try and ascertain whether "footfall" had increased in the town centre, Denbighshire County Council has:-
a. Thought of a number, doubled it and multiplied it by the proposed salary of their current Chief Executive.
b. Looked at the figure they used last year and increased it by a few hundred
c. Employed market researchers to annoy shoppers on the high street
d. Put a camera above Poundland
So, how well did you do? Tricky questions I think you'll agree. Oh, alright then, I'll put you out of your misery. Here goes, but you'll have to scroll down because I don't want you to see the answer to question 10. It had me stumped! :-
1. d
2. d
3. a,b,c and d (sorry, that was a bit of a trick question)
4. b and d
5. a,b,c and probaly d although we'll never know
6. a,b,c and d (I know I've gone done another trick question - sorry!)
7. d
8. d
9. d.
10. d
I can only conclude that I must be living on a different planet...
1. Having reclaimed Rhyl Sun Centre from the previous Clwyd Leisure management company (resulting in numerous redundancies) citing that the facility was now too costly to operate, Denbighshire County Council have:
a. Continued to rule out any possibility of the facility ever again operating as a water based recreational facility.
b. Reiterated their intention to just demolish the facility in favour of a new £18 million aquatic centre,
c. Admitted following the opinion of a businessman well versed with running such a facility that the Sun Centre could indeed once more be run as a viable water based attraction at a fraction of their original estimated cost and should probably never have closed in the first place.
d. Avoid the embarrassment of being made to look stupid by publicly stating that they wish to keep all options open.
2. The Sky Tower which last operated in 2010 has been the subject of various propositions in the new "masterplan". It was publicly stated that the existing tower will never operate again unless at least £400,000 is spent. Taking this in to account, Denbighshire County Council have now suggested:-
a. It could be run as an "adrenaline ride"....
b. It could be used as an "interactive urban art feature"
c. They should just knock it down and admit it has been a bit of a white elephant
d. Avoid the embarrassment of being made to look stupid by admitting it is an eye sore and come up with spurious suggestions such as "adrenaline ride" and "interactive urban art feature"
3. The Children's Village recently rated with an entire star on Trip Advisor with the accompanying advice "expensive and not for children" has had a somewhat turbulent reception from the natives. In seeking to address this lack of understanding from their ignorant public, Denbighshire County Council have:-
a. Stated their intention to approach an unnamed national food chain to move in to the attractive venue
b. Stated their intention to approach a hitherto unidentified unbelievably gullible private sector company enticed by the prospect of a partnership with the legendary Denbighshire County Council
c. Get rid of the toilets behind the cafe which people only have to pay to use anyway in favour of a new kite surfing centre
d. Privately pray that a freak wave decimates the venue thus relieving them of the potential embarrassment of having to admit that it's been a bit of a white elephant since day one what with the sea no longer being visible from the road at the former SEASIDE RESORT.
4. The £160,000 Rhyl skate park opened as long ago as July 19th 2003 has proved a big hit with youngsters in the area giving them a prized recreational facility. Denbighshire County Council in their recently released "masterplan" have suggested:-
a. They intend to leave it alone because after all, it was designed by the youth of the town and is well used with no need for the Council to employ anyone to oversee it.
b. Eleven years is a heck of a long time and even though they are, by their own admission, more skint than a turkey on Christmas Eve, Denbighshire County Council intend to plough ahead with their proposed £18 million aquatic centre which will mean demolition of this popular site.
c. Drop plans for the aquatic centre admitting that "The council doesn't have the money to build a new aquatic centre" and barring "Welsh Government Support" it's all just been a bit of pipe dreaming which they had rather hoped nobody had noticed.
d. Privately hope that someone with infinitely more money than sense will miraculously appear and just give them the money to build the aquatic centre and to hell with the skate park because most of the kids using it probably wouldn't miss it anyway.
5. Despite the West of Rhyl having already benefited from a quite staggering £23 million worth of public investment (that's right, the tax paid by people like you), Denbighshire County Council has also:-
a. Stated it's intention to create a £1.5 million community green space (dogs permitting) to be referred to as a "neighbourhood park"! The latter will be multifunctional (not entirely clear what this means but it sounds good) and will include hard and soft landscaping (concrete and grass), street furniture (metal benches welded in to the pavement lest they get itchy feet), lighting (essential) and of course, CCTV (just in case).
b. Used compulsory purchase orders to sequester the land they intend using for this radical new "neighbourhood park".
c. Put this radical plan together in conjunction with Clwyd Alun Housing Association and the Welsh Assembly Government
d. Privately admitted that it just doesn't know what to do because vast sums of money have already been spent with no discernable difference having been made
6. Marine Lake which dates from 1895 stupidly thought it was going to escape the attentions of Denbighshire County Council. In their new "masterplan", Denbighshire County Council have revealed:-
a. Planning consent for a "cable ski" attraction still remains despite the original applicant having long since woken up and seen the light of day.
b. They hope the venue will create more "open air experiences"???????
c. That in a desperate attempt to meddle in some way or other, they are toying with the potential of Marine Lake becoming quite possibly the smallest waterskiing venue in Western Europe.
d. They don't actually have any plans but thought that they'd better put something in the "masterplan" just in case they lost any credibility (fat chance!)
7. The Scarborough Development Group who have been linked to redeveloping the erstwhile funfair site have revealed that the main reason for the downgrading of their original plan of £85 million to the current version of £30 million has been because of:
a. Challenging market conditions.
b. A sudden upsurge in the value of the pound.
c. The Chief Executive has been somewhat in the doldrums since then.
d. A failure to agree the details of the land transfer with Denbighshire County Council as well as flooding issues which prevented them from building houses there as planned
8. The new Dragon's Bridge which stands as a rare example of linking up a cycling pathway between councils which don't share the same name has justifiably attracted plaudits from several leading architectural judges. Work on completing the project was held up earlier this year after:-
a. The Welsh Assembly Government got wind at the last moment that Denbighshire County Council were involved.
b. Nobody had actually ascertained if any cyclists intended using it.
c. It was though they might have been able to spend a bit more money on the project
d. 200 meters of copper cable had been left unattended and had been stolen what with these times being hard and all that...
9. Despite initial fears that the story had broken on April 1st, Denbighshire County Council in it's latest "masterplan" points to interest from two separate parties to operate a:-
a. Underground tunnel to New York
b. Remote controlled pheasant
c. Big party where everyone has a spiffing time
d. Hovercraft service connecting Rhyl to Liverpool and the Wirral
10. In a bid to try and ascertain whether "footfall" had increased in the town centre, Denbighshire County Council has:-
a. Thought of a number, doubled it and multiplied it by the proposed salary of their current Chief Executive.
b. Looked at the figure they used last year and increased it by a few hundred
c. Employed market researchers to annoy shoppers on the high street
d. Put a camera above Poundland
So, how well did you do? Tricky questions I think you'll agree. Oh, alright then, I'll put you out of your misery. Here goes, but you'll have to scroll down because I don't want you to see the answer to question 10. It had me stumped! :-
1. d
2. d
3. a,b,c and d (sorry, that was a bit of a trick question)
4. b and d
5. a,b,c and probaly d although we'll never know
6. a,b,c and d (I know I've gone done another trick question - sorry!)
7. d
8. d
9. d.
10. d
I can only conclude that I must be living on a different planet...
Comments
Post a Comment